A dad from Welling is set to climb one of the world’s tallest mountains to encourage men to talk about their emotions and feelings.

In December 2009, Graham Baker and his wife Samantha were expecting their second child to be born.

Despite a normal pregnancy, the couple were met with tragic news on the day Samantha went into labour.

(Image: Graham Baker)

The 54-year-old former police officer told the News Shopper: “Back in 2009, my wife and I were due to have our second child.

“It was a normal pregnancy with no sort of issues or anything like that.

“We woke up in the morning in December and it was the usual ‘the baby’s coming’.

“We got down to the hospital and were very excited, but then doctors told us that they couldn’t find a heartbeat.”

Graham explained that their daughter, who they had called Scarlett, died in the womb after doctors found a double knot in her cord.

Samantha was forced to endure the reality of giving birth to Scarlett, knowing her baby had already passed away.

Following the traumatic experience, the couple got involved with a charity called SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society).

Although it was great for Samantha, Graham explained that he didn’t enjoy it.

He explained: “SANDS were great for my wife, who got a lot with it, it didn’t resonate with me.

“I was in the police, and they gave me some counselling for the bereavement.

“It was six sessions of counselling, then you have a bit of time off work, and then it’s back to normal.

“I think that was the problem.

“I didn’t deal with it properly.”

As the years went on, Graham’s mental state began to deteriorate, and he found himself becoming very angry at the world and growing bitter towards other people.

He added: “I just turned into an unpleasant person because of all the trauma and everything else was underlying and building up inside of me.”

Graham was later diagnosed with depression and found himself in a “dark place”.

In 2019, Graham found out about a charity called StrongMen, a UK bereavement charity.

StrongMen wanted men to leave their homes for the weekend and climb Mount Snowdon in Wales.

Samantha encouraged Graham to try it and reluctantly did so.

Graham said: “I went on this weekend away in Snowdon and it changed my life.

“It was this reset that I needed.

“It reset me to find my purpose again and I realised that I wasn’t alone.

“It’s normal for blokes to bottle their emotions up and not deal with grief, which is why there are so many male mental health issues.

“After this weekend, I rediscovered what was important to me.”

Following on from this, Graham left the police and started his own business as a full-time commercial photographer.

(Image: Graham Baker)

2024 marks the fifth anniversary of the StrongMen charity and the founder of the charity wanted to “go big” to celebrate.

Since the StrongMen charity is about being outside, climbing mountains, walking, hiking, and generally being outdoors, he decided to take the members of the charity to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

Graham will fly out to Tanzania on October 3 and will start summiting around on October 10.

Graham and the other 19 members who are going to climb the mountain are aiming to raise £40,000, but Graham said, “as much as possible will be enough”.

In 2011, the couple decided to have another baby to give their eldest child a sibling.

But Graham described it as “the most horrendous pregnancy” because of the stress the couple had been through and the constant worry of losing another child.

Thankfully, Samantha gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Graham said: “I think one of the things about being involved with StrongMen is — and it’s very much my ethos now — that if I can share the story of losing Scarlett, then some bloke out there who’s bottling it up might listen to my story and realise that maybe they’re turning into the unpleasant person that I was.

“If I can share that horrendously horrible story, and it resonates with someone to reach out to StrongMen, then maybe they’ll find the support they need, and they won’t feel as alone as I did.

“Blokes need to stop bottling it up.”